The Hat Treaty

14 Jul

I have always been one of those “hungry for learning” people. I still subscribe to the Economist, Harper’s and the Great Courses series. I love learning new things and garner new experiences. You name it: white water rafting, wine tasting, art class, hot yoga, Islam lecture series, Rubic’s Cube interest group, cake making class, Finer Things in Life ladies social group, etc. Anything exciting, breath taking, completely engaging, spirit freeing, knowledge producing, I am there.

Let me ask you now. How often do you do exciting, breath taking, completely engaging, spirit freeing, knowledge producing things with your significant other? Well, sex counts as one, surely(wink ;). But what about other activities?  If you have been together for a while, either married, dating or living together, there comes a point when watching a movie or having dinner together doesn’t feel that special. And by no means it means your relationship is in crisis and you don’t love each other anymore. Sometimes mundane things happen to good people.

About three weeks ago, I brought it to my husband’s attention that I would like to do more things with him. Things are not ordinary, things that are fun, and that involve learning something new/experiencing something new/creating something new, together. Together being the key word here.

I also wanted to mention that my husband is a genius and a great problem solver. He took his top hat (a real one) and separated a sheet of paper into many tiny squares. He told me to write down five  things I would like to do together, and did the same himself. We have agreed to take turns pulling one activity out of the Hat every Sunday to do the following weekend. That is how  a Hat Treaty was created. And since it’s a treaty, whatever we pullout of a hat, we do. There is no complaining, whining, arguing or “not having time”. If it comes out of a hat, we do it.

So, let me provide you with some examples. Our first activity was from A., and it read: “Have Indian food”. We did. Next one pulled out was from me and it was “To Go to a Museum”. I went up to New York this past Friday and we visited a museum, a Museum of Sex. Don’t roll your eyes now – a museum is a museum. It was quite educational.  The third thing that we have pulled out read “Take an instate road trip with an over night stay”, and it was from A. I have to say, I like his ideas. Since we cannot do it this coming weekend due to my close friend’s party at Buddhakan, NYC, we have pulled another and we will do the road trip the weekend after. The activity that we are doing the next weekend read “Take an Art Class with BYOB”. I say, bring on the brushes and the canvas. This couple’s got some painting to do! Together.



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