Sulk Fest

9 Nov

I am sulking. I have been sulking for about 5 hours. Between calling mom and dad, emailing friends, reading a book, having breakfast, doing laundry, taking a shower, cleaning up, and blogging – I am sulking. I am also noticing that the longer I stay in that sulking stage, the more I sulk! The more I focus on the fact that I should stop sulking, the more I sulk! In fact, I think I’ve been sulking so much today, and I feel physically tired. I’m exhausted. I want to get some rest. From sulking.

Here are some of the things that (I think) have brought this sulking fest on:

1. Calling mom and dad. I miss them and feel like a bad daughter.
2. Reading the Time Out New York magazine. I am not living the NYC life, not going to see an exhibit at the Japan Society, and not going to explore Baltus: Cats and Girls at the Met.
3. Receiving effective scores on my observation. I was hoping for highly effective.
4. My husband is exhibiting coldness traits for a few days. I feel unloved and lonely.
5. Mom has not received her birthday gift on time because Russian post office sent it to a different town and had to reroute it. She still has not received it.
6. I have bit off a piece of my cuticle, I am now beating myself up for it hurts.
7. I have tried to meditate but couldn’t do it. I now look at myself as a failure.
8. I have been practicing Buddhism for a year. Today, however, I am preaching all of the anti-Buddha teachings,
9. I feel stagnant.
10. I am annoyed at myself and all of the humanity.
11. I have not received my Oprah or Success magazines this month.
12. I have already cried a little and thought how fucked up this world actually is.
13. I feel bad for A. I surely wouldn’t want to spend time with me when I am in such a foul mood.

I am aware of the black cloud that is hanging over my head right now. I would like to make it go away. And I know it will. Any suggestions to speed it up?
Thank you kindly,

My Sulking Self.


I am certain animals can read our feelings. When I was sitting in bed, Athena has crawled into my lap and gave me this funny pose.


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