People I don’t understand (a judgmental post)

22 Jan

I know, I know. Don’t judge and you won’t be judged. But the following type of people has always puzzled/annoyed/confused me. I tend to be “live your life to the fullest” weird person and that, in turn, may puzzle/annoy/confuse people that meet me. However, in this post I’d like to describe some thing people (friends, coworkers, family) have said or done that annoy me a great deal.

1. “I am so busy”. “I am so busy I haven’t texted, or emailed or called. I am just so busy.”

That text takes 5 seconds, that email maybe a minute, that call to check in, maybe, what, 3 minutes? I really look down of people that claim how busy they are. My diagnosis of such behavior is that a) they simply don’t want to do it, b) they need to rearrange or simplify their life, and c) they need to decide which things are important and which are not.

To illustrate, I have a friend or shall I say a “friend”, let’s call her friend N. She can never make it to any of our get togethers, she is rarely available to chat, or check in, she rarely answers texts. So, guess what? I have stopped including her in the invitations. Why bother?

Similarly, a friend that now lives in another country, claims she is so busy, she can’t send a text. Forgive me, but that is just not true. I’d rather hear something like “I don’t feel like talking but I’ll text you when I do”.

2. “I can’t do something because of my mortgage/student loans/car insurance” also know as “I’m broke” or “I don’t have money aside from my mortgage/student loans/bills”.

I also tend to look down of people like this. Especially if they are my age or older (I am 32). Another friend of mine, let’s call her friend S, is making a good salary, has many tutoring clients, performs translation jobs on the side, and never has money! Mind you, she is single, living alone. Whenever we want to go somewhere, do something, the answer is “I have my mortgage, can’t do that”. Mortgage? She has a condo, not a house, how much can it possibly be? (Mine is $966/month).

It annoys me greatly that people work to just cover their basic needs… We live in an amazing world, that waits to be discovered. Atacama Desert in Chile; Antigua, Guatemala; India and Nepal, Morocco, South Africa, Chichen Itza ruins in Mexico, Buenos Aires and Rio… How can people be ok with NOT seeing those places because of mortgage/car insurance/student loans?

I am not rich and I also have a mortgage, student loans, and a car insurance payment. I am also enrolled in a doctoral program. However, I always make sure that I have money for things that I love, like experiencing this world to the fullest.

So, those are the two major things that I don’t understand about people. I concur that this is a judgmental post. Feel free to judge me, I will be ok with that.


2 Responses to “People I don’t understand (a judgmental post)”

  1. SmilingTRaveler January 22, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

    Hello good morning, I always read your posts, but haven’t posted a response in awhile. I’m sure that they are many possible answer to your questions. I think first of all it’s important to recognize that we’re not like others, and by we I mean those that post and put their life out there. I think that they’re people out there who want to share, and experience ALL that life has to offer. Although we do have our little depressive episodes and seasons of problems, our positive nature means we also face our problems, and we recognize that they are an opportunity to grow.
    It probably seems incomprehensible to you to think that you’re not going to LIVE your life, if we can’t live, don’t take time to enjoy things; then why are we here? You most likely have set out to live an authentic life, meaning you say what you think and feel, that way you’re not as misunderstood. Besides it’s so freeing just being yourself, not having to keep track of the multiple personas, family, spouse, friends, JOB. Finally you’ve made it a point to be responsible for ALL your actions, you don’t blame or make excuses for things you either don’t want to do or can’t. Besides you probably will always make time for a friend, why be a friend if you’re never available for the other person. That was the good news, the bad news is that statistically speaking there’s probably not many people who follow those tenants I described. I know that many of them might not specifically describe you, but they do me. I wanted to illustrate that what you and I are doing here, talking about our feelings, especially broadcasting it out there in the web, do you realize how many people we know are probably really fearful of that? Instead of facing their fears, they build a Story that will medigate their failure, or elevate it to make themselves look better. They get so accustomed to telling lies, that the lies become a part of their lives. Take your friend who uses her mortgage and bills as an excuse, as you pointed out you have the same bills, but you have a lot of time on your hands. We are in a breed of our own, I’m not saying this for you to elevate yourself, but for you to recognize that others just don’t operate in the same wave length. Now that I think of it, I have a “friend” who complains about the bills. He works more than I do, makes more money, drives a better car. He would like people to think he’s broke, then he’ll go away on a trip; but I thought you were broke? If I’m not careful he will try to stiff me for a few dollars. I ask myself everyday, why isn’t he living LIFE, perhaps if he was he won’t be so depressed that his life doesn’t meant anything. Ok now I’m going on a rant about my friend. My point is this. Those people you described annoy me also, but I’ve come to realize that at their core they’re afraid. They’re afraid of what you’d think if you knew the real them, they believe that life is about working hard and good things will happen. What they don’t know is that people like you because of your flaws, that’s what attracted you to each other, because you shared things in common. Life is about LIVING, bad things will happen despite what any of us do, you push through it and come out on the other side stronger. Afterall isn’t that what the quote “well that’s Life!” means?


    • Finer Things in Life January 22, 2014 at 11:17 pm #

      Thank you so much for a thoughtful reply and taking the time to write. I understand that this post is judgmental and may even be considered cold. But this is the space where I speak my thoughts. Looking forward to reading your blog.


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